My baby is growing up to fast!

On Monday May 16th my baby hit the milestone I knew was coming but dreaded all the same. He figured out he can walk. Just a few steps at a time for now but it is getting more more common to watch him see if he can make it across a space without support. I have known this day was coming for a while. Ever since he could hold his head up on his own, he prefers standing to just about everything else. He only crawled because it was the fastest way to get where he wanted to go. He has been walking holding on to things for at least 3 months and he just scoots along the couch like a turbo charged engine. But now...now he can do it on his own!

It is exciting to watch him get more and more independent but a little scary. What if he won't need his mommy anymore? I know he still will but the more milestones he reaches the closer we get to the day he won't need me. And I know it's my job to teach him how to reach that point but I am going to whine just a little about it on the way.

It has been harder than I thought it would be to leave him with people during the day while I am at work. I miss hearing his little giggle as he climbs into boxes and pulls paper out of the recycling bin but there is nothing like picking him up and watching that huge smile break out on his face and see him crawl to meet me as fast as his little knees will carry him and the HUGE hug that comes when I pick him up to say hello.

Yes it's true.....there is an update!

It has been almost 6 months to the day that Adam joined our family! Life is hectic with a newborn! Luckily I am extremely blessed to be able to take him to work with me. I love spending all day listening to him giggle and talk to himself. He is getting so big! He is rolling over on his own and has been for awhile. One recent development is that he has learned to sit up all by himself! He will be crawling in no time!

Tonight we introduced him to his first real food. Peaches and green beans. He seemed to like the peaches but I am pretty sure the gagging motion he made with every bite of the beans means he doesn't like those....he didn't spit any out though!

He has his 6 month check up the week after Christmas. I am so excited to celebrate his first Christmas! I have had to exercise extreme willpower not to buy him everything in sight! Nathan says he doesn't understand Christmas which I know he doesn't but you will never convince me that he spends hours looking at the lights on the tree for any other reason than he loves them as much as his mommy!

He's HERE!!

I cannot believe it! After 9 months and 26 hours of labor, Louis Adam Corley joined us on Father's day at 3:17 a.m.

Poor Nathan spent his birthday at the hospital with me but our little guy decided to let daddy continue to have his own birthday and he would take the day after.

I went into labor at 2 am on Saturday June 19th. I didn't even realize it was labor at first because all of the pain was in my back. But by 5 the pains were regular and about every 3-5 mins apart. I woke up Nathan to take me to the hospital. We got there and they hooked up all the monitors and checked me out. I was dilated to a 3 but 2 hours later had made no progress so they gave me a shot of morphine and sent me home with instructions that if I hadn't made any progress by Monday to follow up with my doctor.

We got home and I tried to sleep but wasn't having much success. Then I realized my contractions were getting stronger. By 3 that afternoon I was in so much pain that I couldn't stand up when a contraction came. I had Nathan take me back to the hospital and 15 mins after we got there, I was in a room and getting an epidural. I have to say, natural is not the way for me. People who want to go that route are welcome to it but give me an epidural any time. Nathan jokes that after I had one, he didn't think I was in labor any more.

And then began the waiting. When we went in at 3 I was dilated to a 5 it took until midnight for me to get the rest of the way. At midnight, the nurse came in and we started pushing. Three hours later, Adam joined our little family at 7 lbs 12 ozs and measuring 20 and a half inches long. Because I had to push for so long, I developed a fever and passed it along to the baby so shortly after he was born, they whisked him away to check him out. Nathan went with him to the nursery to watch. Two hours later he was back but the baby wasn't yet. They moved me to my post-partum room and a couple of hours later they finally brought my baby back to me. The pediatrician wanted to keep him as long as she did just to make sure that the fever was caused by my labor and not something else but she said he was a well baby and everything looked fine.

It has been an adjustment that is for sure. As we left the hospital Tuesday morning, Nathan looked at me and said "They are letting us take him home, are they nuts?" I kind of echo that sentiment. I have no idea what I am doing! He is a beautiful, sweet baby and so far he has been pretty easy to take care of. I know that will change but I am enjoying this first week as much as I possibly can!

Welcome to our family Adam! I fell in love with you the moment I found out you would be joining us and fell even more in love when I held you! You are the best Father's day present your daddy and I could have hoped for!

Baby Shower

Okay. It has taken a month but I am finally blogging about the wonderful baby shower my good friend threw for me. Now if I can remember how to post pictures we should be good to go! :)

So about 5 months ago, my friend Julia asked if she could throw a baby shower for me. I know, I know...5 months early seems extreme but at the time, she was pregnant with her 3rd baby and since she doesn't have very easy births, she wanted to get a lot of it planned before she had to recover from the birth and have a hectic life with a newborn. Unfortunately, tragedy struck and her sweet, beautiful baby was only destine for this earth for a few short hours. I knew when I found out that it would be incredibly hard for her to put on a happy face for me while celebrating the baby I was expecting. I told my mom and sister what had happened and asked if they would be willing to step in if Julia was feeling like she didn't want to do it. They of course said yes. However, being the wonderful friend that she is, she still wanted to help me celebrate.

I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that she was willing, after everything she had been through, to help me celebrate my little boy. We were small in numbers but had a great time! The food was wonderful and the decorations adorable! We had chicken pasta salad, stuffed strawberries, homemade rolls with honey butter, a cream cheese braid, and fresh fruit. It meant the world that my wonderful friends were willing to take time out of their day to come see me and help me get ready for my baby's birth. I love you all!

Time flies...

WOW! It seems like just yesterday that I was sending Nathan a picture of a positive pregnancy test and jumping up and down with excitement. And now we are down to the last 8 weeks of it just being the two of us. Somehow, I don't feel ready and yet I want our precious little boy here with us.

We have spent the last two weeks getting the nursery prepared and painted. We still have a lot to do but the walls are finished and we are making slow but steady progress. Unfortunately with everything we have been doing, I have been so focused on finishing baby projects, I have neglected the regular everyday chores....like grocery shopping....

I went in to see the the doctor last Thursday and since all the non-stress tests look good and the AFI ultrasounds are normal, I don't have to do that every week any more which is nice. Although, I am not sure it matters since I have to go in every other week and we are getting closer to the time I have to go in every week. But when the doctor checked out our little guy last week, he said he is doing great and seems to be just wiggling along happy as a clam.

While I hate having to spend so much time at the doctor's office, it brings me great relief every time I hear my son's heart beating away strong and regular. While I will not miss the non-stress tests, I will miss the weekly ultrasound and seeing how he is growing and progressing.

At least I only have 8 more weeks until I see the little guy who I have been getting to know for the last 7 months.

Why oh why.....

Okay. About 2 weeks ago, I ended up in the doctors office because it had been 5 days and I hadn't felt the baby move. The doctor checked his heart rate and we did a non-stress test and everything appeared fine, I just couldn't feel him. The next night Nathan and I went to a birthday party for his boss. The entertainment for the evening was a gentleman by the name of Jason Hewlett. He is a stand up comedian and does impersonations of musical acts. The minute the first song started, the baby started jumping around and wiggling his little heart out. SERIOUSLY!! You couldn't have done this yesterday BEFORE the doctor decided that I needed to go in every week for a non-stress test?!? WHY?!?

Ouch

What a day. Today has been spent cleaning, cleaning, cleaning with more on the horizon. Since our house is so small, I am giving up my office room for the sake of having room for all the baby things....like a crib. Add another plus to having a baby and a small house with no storage space. It forces you to throw out more stuff than you even realized you owned! A few weeks ago, Nathan and I went through closets and drawers and filled up the bed of his truck with bags and boxes for the DI. Today, add 4 more bags and a box to that total. I have to get them to DI quickly however before I break down and keep all the shoes I am donating.

The goal, for me at least, is to have everything cleaned out and ready to prep for painting by next Saturday. Hey, it could happen. Although paint will have to wait until we can actually decide on colors or a theme or anything.

Nathan spent most of the morning in the crawl space. It is dirty and yucky and gross and I was glad I didn't have to go down there. With losing the little storage space we have been able to use in my office, we decided it was time to pull out the dryer and start moving stuff down there. Once we adjust (a.k.a. move) the location for the washer and dryer so that we can access it easily, it will actually create quite a bit of storage space. Although I wouldn't store anything down there that can't be cleaned easily or is in 100% air tight containers.....

Halfway there

I cannot believe I am halfway to this baby being here! Time has flown and yet some days seems to drag on forever! We had the ultrasound 2 weeks ago and where shown that my "motherly instinct" does not extend to the sex of the baby. I was sure we were having a girl but as the technician was moving around to get all the measurements, there he was with his legs spread wide open making sure we knew he was a BOY! I guess like father like son. :) Anyway, I have started to feel little flutters like butterflies in my tummy and the doctor says these are most likely me feeling our little boy wiggling around. He is defiantly a wiggler. The ultrasound technician had a hard time getting a couple of measurements because he wouldn't hold still long enough. It is a shame that we were so sure it was a girl we didn't even discuss boy names...

I had an appointment on Tuesday of this week. Everything is going just fine. It makes me a little relieved since this last week has been tough. A good friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful little girl last Sunday who was only destine for this earth for a few short hours. My heart breaks for her and the pain she is going through and more selfishly, worry for my little man. It was a great relief to get to hear his heartbeat, strong as always, showing the doctor just how wiggly he is.

Before this pregnancy, I would not have classified myself as a worrier. I was wrong. Maybe it is worse since this is the first baby for us, but I worry. Is what I am feeling normal? Am I eating enough and good food for the baby? Should I have felt something that I haven't? The list goes on. I try to let things go and just say it will all work out in the end but it is more than a little hard sometimes. Which seems odd considering that during 3 years of infertility problems, I almost always had the attitude that it will happen when the Lord says it will.

Perhaps, I need to remind myself more often that the Lord has a plan for us and the tragedies, sorrows, worries, comforts, joys, and blessings we all ineveitably have are part of it for reasons we may not ever understand while in this life. But the atonement is there to get us through all of it. No matter how hard or easy it seems to be right now, the Lord has already felt it and is waiting for us to lean on Him to get through.

Weekly Planning Meeting

So Nathan and I have kind of gotten into the habit of every Sunday before bed talking about Church and the observations we made during the week and during the lessons at church. This last Sunday we had Ward Conference. The Sunday School lesson was on pre-ordination but inevitably, the discussion turned to service. Nathan made an interesting observation that I had never really thought about but was so impressed by I would like to share it here.

The discussion turned how we should pray for opportunities to serve the people who are less fortunate than us. What about the people who are MORE fortunate than us? Do they not need our love and service just as much? In President Bensons talk on pride he said that many of us define pride as people at the top looking down but the much more common sin of pride is people on the bottom looking up.

It made me realize that just because I look at someone and think they are more fortunate than me, they still have trials and they still need service I might be able to provide. So I think from now on, I will stop praying for opportunities to serve those less fortunate and just start praying to be able to recognize opportunities to serve.

So here is the big news.....

I have to apologize for not posting for awhile but I have had big big news that Nathan was sure I was going to spill before we told our families....but I held out and now they know. So I can make it general knowledge I guess. Plus it helps that I am now starting to believe it.

We went to the Dr on wednesday of this week. I think hearing the heartbeat made it all real. That's right folks, after several years of trying, I am pregnant! 12 weeks and I can now breath a little easier.

It didn't sink in until I actually heard that little heart beating away at 156 bpm. I guess part of that is because except for a few days of sickness, so far it has been easy. I haven't really felt pregnant so it is a little hard to believe.

We told everyone on Thanksgiving. I thought is was very fitting since this year especially we have a lot to be thankful for. Nathan has a good job that provides for our needs, we have a baby coming, we have wonderful friends and family that are close. What more can I ask for?

P.S. The middle of June is the big day!

Sometimes......

Sometimes life hands you things that make you sit up and examine what you are missing. Whether in relationships, work, friends, social activities, whatever. It is in those moments that you define who you are and who you want to be. It is to bad we can't see where those things will lead however. Is it enough to be content or is happiness more important? Is it still love if passion takes a back seat to life? Is it more important to get what you want than be who you want? These are the questions we are forced to answer on a daily basis....but what do you do if the answer changes hourly?

The last several weeks I have been constantly trying to decide what the answers to these questions are. I have berated myself for not having the answers and reminded myself that it's okay that I don't. And now I have reached a place that I am more confused than ever. :)

Just when I think that I have my life planned out, something or someone throws a wrench in it. Which contrary to popular belief is not a bad thing. I have learned it is important to be shaken up sometimes in order to force us to examine what is important. And I have learned that it is okay if that shaking makes you step out of your comfort zone. If only because we become better people, better friends, better companions, and better parents by constantly examining the path we are treading and readjusting course if necessary.

Okay one more thing

So I randomly found this blog: 

http://theweedons.blogspot.com

She is giving away this cool skirt called a binsi.  Just go check it out.  And before anyone asks, no I am not pregnant.  I plan to be someday and since it is a giveaway, I want to win!  :)

Randomness that has been going through my brain

Okay, this blog entry will have nothing even close to resembling continuity, train of thought, or even a central theme.

First off, I am relieved that the California State Supreme Court upheld Prop 8 but not for the reasons you might think.  It doesn't really matter where I stand on the issue because my personal feelings are not the point.  What does matter is that the majority of Californians voted in favor of it and the Supreme Court upheld those peoples opinions.  It seems like to often now days people are cowed into supporting a cause they don't believe in for fear of being called a bigot or worse. Correct me if I am wrong but hating someone for disagreeing with your opinion makes you just as much a bigot as you seem to think they are.  People want their rights recognized and upheld but that doesn't extend to people having the right to disagree with them. 

On to the next tangent.  I have come to realize that there are people in this world who are so busy trying to convince people that they are something (liberal, conservative, democrat, republican, any number of religions including my own) that they don't have time to actually live the way they say they believe.  Actions speak far louder than words.

We recently got back from a 9 day vacation with my parents, Mike, and Ashlee.  I learned a lot about my family.  Not all of it good.  But we did have a great time and we got to see a lot of places that I haven't been for awhile.  We are working on a surprise for the family but I can't say anything more about it since Ashlee might actually read this! (If she can remember the URL :P).

For my birthday, Nathan broke down and got me a Kindle from Amazon.  For those of you who don't know it is Amazon's ereader.  It uses cell phone technology to download content as well as USB.  So basically anywhere you get coverage from the Sprint network, you can download books from amazon.com.  Very cool but I have limited myself to 3 books a week or I will be broke in about 5 seconds flat.  I ended up getting it almost a month early since I had a super crappy week and Nathan told me about it to cheer me up.  Once I knew about it, it was either fork it on over or have me drive him nuts about it for a month.  It came while he was out of town and we stopped at the office after I picked him up at 11:30 p.m. to get before I went crazy!  I am not normal, I know!

I told you this post had nothing coherent holding it together but since you are still reading, it must not matter. LOL  Sorry about the mini rant but sometimes you just need to get it out there.  I am done.

Quick update

I had a final doctor appointment today with the eye doctor. She just wanted to check and make sure that the infection that I have been dealing with isn't coming back now that I am off all the medications that I was taking for it. I am happy to report, everything looks normal except for the scar that will be there forever. She did say I was extremely lucky because if the scar had formed even a millimeter closer to my pupil, at the very least it would have left me with a blind spot. Worse case would be that I could have lost my vision in that eye completely. That being said, with the type of infection that I had, 25% of people have a recurrence within the first year. 90% have one within 5-10 years. So it is not a question of if it will come back, it is when. Luckily, now I know how serious it is, I can get in the minute I start having symptoms so the scar I have shouldn't get any bigger.

The Facebook Phenomenon

Recently I have discovered that I am a huge part of the "Facebook Phenomenon". I read an article the other day that said if facebook was a country, it would be the 8th most populated country in the WORLD! I believe it since I am on it almost everyday. Most days, I get to work and update my status before I ever start my job. I then leave it open in the background while I work. Some days I check it obsessively, some days not so much. There are pluses to this vast social networking site.

Recently, I got an email saying that an old friend wanted to add me. Not a huge thing in and of itself. However, it just so happens that this friend is one that I would say was my best friend growing up. I lost track of him after his family moved out of the neighborhood and have often wondered how he is doing and what he is up to. When he added me as a friend on facebook, we were able to spend about 3 hours getting caught up. I was amazed by how much I had missed his friendship and input and am grateful that we have been able to reconnect.

In the last several weeks, I have been struck by the creativity bug. I have really started writing again after not being to serious about it for months if not years. I have also re-evaluated where I am at in life and where I would like to be. I have set new goals and am hopeful of a change in direction.

Nathan has been working much to hard as usual. He spent 3 days in first 2 weeks of January at home and while he is home this week, he may as well not be since I haven't seen him at all. He is leaving again next week. At least this time, I won't have to get text messages from him saying that is is 76 degrees where he is while I am freezing my behind off in 30 degree weather. Although, even though it hasn't snowed for weeks, I suspect that this next week I will be shoveling a lot. It always snows when Nathan is gone in the winter.