Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Halfway there

I cannot believe I am halfway to this baby being here! Time has flown and yet some days seems to drag on forever! We had the ultrasound 2 weeks ago and where shown that my "motherly instinct" does not extend to the sex of the baby. I was sure we were having a girl but as the technician was moving around to get all the measurements, there he was with his legs spread wide open making sure we knew he was a BOY! I guess like father like son. :) Anyway, I have started to feel little flutters like butterflies in my tummy and the doctor says these are most likely me feeling our little boy wiggling around. He is defiantly a wiggler. The ultrasound technician had a hard time getting a couple of measurements because he wouldn't hold still long enough. It is a shame that we were so sure it was a girl we didn't even discuss boy names...

I had an appointment on Tuesday of this week. Everything is going just fine. It makes me a little relieved since this last week has been tough. A good friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful little girl last Sunday who was only destine for this earth for a few short hours. My heart breaks for her and the pain she is going through and more selfishly, worry for my little man. It was a great relief to get to hear his heartbeat, strong as always, showing the doctor just how wiggly he is.

Before this pregnancy, I would not have classified myself as a worrier. I was wrong. Maybe it is worse since this is the first baby for us, but I worry. Is what I am feeling normal? Am I eating enough and good food for the baby? Should I have felt something that I haven't? The list goes on. I try to let things go and just say it will all work out in the end but it is more than a little hard sometimes. Which seems odd considering that during 3 years of infertility problems, I almost always had the attitude that it will happen when the Lord says it will.

Perhaps, I need to remind myself more often that the Lord has a plan for us and the tragedies, sorrows, worries, comforts, joys, and blessings we all ineveitably have are part of it for reasons we may not ever understand while in this life. But the atonement is there to get us through all of it. No matter how hard or easy it seems to be right now, the Lord has already felt it and is waiting for us to lean on Him to get through.